Okay, admit it: Even if you’re one of those people who told all of your friends, relatives and social media connections you absolutely-hate-and-can’t-stand-and-won’t-watch the royal wedding, you probably know by now that the bride wore a McQueen creation, the groom wore scarlet and the groom’s impish younger brother wore his trademark grin.
And if you can’t do that, embrace the insane merchandise.
Here are the Top 10 craziest creations I’ve seen come out of royal weddingpalooza:
10. Keep Calm: Harry is Still Single, screams this Union Jack-themed take on the traditional “Keep Calm and Carry On” posters issued by the British government in 1939 during the beginning of World War II.
9. Teeth tattoos. Just when it seemed the British had widely embraced orthodontia, some crazy plumber named Barmy Baz Franks decides to go and get his front two teeth tattooed with the images of Prince William and his bride, Kate Middleton. Let’s hope the royal union lasts, if only for Barmy Baz Franks’s sake.
8. Royal wedding Pez. The only thing I have to say about Pez is that it tastes like sand and my childhood babysitter had an enormous collection of dispensers. Because I suspect your experience with the candy may be similar, it probably won’t bother anyone to know that they’re not available to all commoners yet.
7. Royal wedding sick bags. Enough said, except for this small, classy detail from artist Lydia Leith: “All sick bags posted first class royal mail”
6. Royal wedding air. “Trained professionals” were apparently outside collecting samples of the sacred oxygen today. No word yet on the price, but this has to be the creepiest advertisement tagline the world has ever seen: “ .. you might get a whiff of Kate.”
5. Kate Middleton ... for the win. For ridiculous, one-topic and sleekly-designed Web sites, look no further than Tumblr. For Kate Middleton — ahem, the duchess of Cambridge — like you’ve never seen her before, check out this one in particular.
4. Royal wedding cereal. One box of Wills’ Royal O’s or Royal Breakfast Special Kate’s — really? — will cost you about $16.
3. Royal wedding pizza. Okay, this creation from Papa John’s is really not all that crazy. It is delicious.
2. Royal wedding refrigerator. Look at it this way, a life-size printout of the royal couple plastered on the front of your largest kitchen appliance does the job better than a magnet ever could.
1. And our winner: Royal wedding condoms, if only for the best tag line I have ever seen: “Lie back and think of England.” Tally ho!Tweet What have you seen out there? Send me the crazy creation using #royallycrazy and I'll post your replies back here in this blog.
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